The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships by David Niven PhD

Author:David Niven, PhD [David Niven, PhD]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780061737992
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Thomas 1999

55

Even in a Relationship, You Are Still an Individual

Strong, healthy relationships are built on notions of equality. With that comes the realization that the individual matters. When two people are in a relationship, chances are each is pursuing individual dreams. The strongest relationships support both partners’ dreams, even if they differ, not one partner’s at the expense of the other’s.

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Lana and Derek moved in together seven years ago. They had been seeing each other for a year, but before they moved in together they sat down and carefully discussed how money and household duties would be handled. Thus far their system has worked well: they split everything fifty-fifty.

Lana says, “We try very hard to strike a balance between being together and letting both of us individually be the person we want to be. I work for a large company, and I’m a bit of a workaholic; he’s an artist. So at times we’re both on our own running around doing the things that make us tick. But we both understand that our work can only bring us so far and that sharing with each other makes it all more worthwhile.

“We have a strong commitment to each other, which I think will last because we also have a strong commitment to ourselves. Because I think that’s what makes a relationship commitment sustainable.”

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